Feast of Swords (2008)

This page has been archived here from official Square Enix sources. It was originally posted on 21/04/08.


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San d'Oria Moogle: 3, 2, 1… Action, kupo!

Bastok Moogle: Ahem. Dear adventurers, we have a wonderful announcement for you today, kupo!
Get set for an exciting event with whirling wooden weapons and slicing samurai action! That's right! It's time for the Feast of Swords, kupo!

San d'Oria Moogle: Cut, cut, cut, kupo!
What part of “traditional, elegant, and tasteful” did you not understand, kupo!? What about the stunning Genji armor? The nostalgia-inducing mochi? The health and happiness of—

Linkpearl: <Ring, ring>

Windurst Moogle: Good day, kupo! This is the Mog House Manag—what!? I see…thank you.
Er, I'm sorry to disturb you in the middle of your riveting rehearsal, but we may have to make some last-minute changes to that announcement, kupo…
I've just been informed by the union chief that this year's Feast of Swords is to be cancelled—effective immediately.

Bastok Moogle: Kupopopo!? You can't be serious!

San d'Oria Moogle: Was this a direct order from the three nations, by any chance?

Windurst Moogle: I don't have all the details, but that seems to be the case, kupopo.
It might have something to do with the fact that every time we borrow suits of precious armor from the Far East, they're swiped by some unscrupulous sneaks…

San d'Oria Moogle: We may push the patience of our Far Eastern patrons past breaking point, kupo…
The three nations can't afford to let our incompetence invite an international incident.

Bastok Moogle: But how can they do this, kupo!?
Think of the children! That's what the Feast of Swords is all about, kupo! They'll be so disappointed…

San d'Oria Moogle: And we've stockpiled all these "ibushi shinai" for the participants to play with…

Windurst Moogle: I'd completely forgotten, kupo!
If the three nations withdraw their support, how are we supposed to pay for those!? We must meditate on a method to save our salar—er, I mean, save the festival for all the good little girls and boys, kupo!

Bastok Moogle: I have it, kupo!
Instead of waiting for permission to borrow the armor from the Far East, I say we trick those unscrupulous sneaks into acquiring the suits and bringing them back for us, kupo!

Windurst Moogle: You mean you want them to stea—

Bast Moogle: I mean "acquire," kupo!
And as soon as they try to enter the three nations wearing their ill-gotten gains, a righteous rabble wielding our wooden weapons will fall upon them, kupo! It will be the greatest Feast of Swords in history!

San d'Oria Moogle: We use those ubiquitous brigands to our advantage, kupo…

Windurst Moogle: The Far East is grateful, and the three nations impressed…

Bastok Moogle: And the M.H.M.U. reaps the rewards!

Windurst Moogle: B-but who do we send against these dastardly desperados?

San d'Oria Moogle: Curses, kupo! I hadn't thought about that!

Bastok Moogle: Well, obviously we <mumble, mumble, mumble>, kupo!

Windurst Moogle: Oh! Of c-c-course, kupo!
And so we just…kupopo!

Bastok Moogle: Kupopopo!!

San d'Oria Moogle: Kupopopopo!!!


Category: News

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