The Burden of Growing Up

Vana'diel date: 878/12/15
Place: Northern San d'Oria, on the way between Delouvien residence and Merchell residence
Posted on 01 Jun 2012 16:52

Endahren sighed. Again. He thought it might just be the lousiest birthday ever. Lately, he had been thinking a lot of his duties and obligations. It didn't make for the best way to spend your birthday, especially when the only person you could possibly talk to was a mere child. Once again, he sighed bitterly. Arranged marriages really weren't his thing, especially with a difference in age this big. It bothered him. It seemed that no matter what he did, he was confusing the girl badly. He hadn't wanted to do that, but he wasn't really an expert in how to treat 13-year-old girls. The ones he usually spent his time with were his own age. He supposed they had been 13 once too, but at that age, he hadn't paid any attention to them, and had just spent his time with his male friends. Back then, girls might as well have been a separate species for all he cared.
He stopped, cheeks flaming. He had really invited her to the Starlight dinner. He would have to inform mother of it now, he supposed. The experience might just make him die of embarrasment. He hadn't even meant to go to see Ella in the first place, and had somehow blurted out that question to give even some semblance of a reason for his visit. He supposed it hadn't been the smartest thing to do.
Slowly continuing his walk back home, he wondered if he shouldn't just stop trying. For now, until Ella grew up a little bit more. Maybe in three more years or so she would be capable of listening to what he said. At the present, the girl seemed so inexperienced and innocent that he didn't want to burden her with his worries. It would of course leave him with no one at all to talk to, but he could handle that. It would hurt even more if she downright rejected him if he tried telling his thoughts to her, she was likely to do that the way she was now, he thought.
He wondered what he could distract himself with. That would be sorely needed now, more than ever. Perhaps he should start reading more, concentrate on his studies. That'd please both father and mother for one, although not so much his friends. Friends, he called them, but how good friends could they really be since he never talked to them? They weren't the type to take serious talk well, and Endahren didn't want to talk to them in the first place.
He sighed again, feeling rejected, and made his way down the street. There was really no one else he could talk to. There was only Ella.

Category: Until It's Gone

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